Year Of The Pizza

Anchovy pizza + beer = A-OK lunch

I had lunch at Homeslice with Matt Glazer and Will Ikard recently.  All of us liked anchovies and beer, so the party hit the ground running.  They had just signed some big clients through GNI Strategies, and since I was having lunch with the I and the G, of GNI, I heartily congratulated them.

Matt and Will, in turn, congratulated me for winning the HOES contest again.  They hadn’t seen me since, and Matt said that he furiously checked his twitter stream while in New Orleans for my live updates from the sub.  It’s funny, both Matt and Will are super busy guys, they always have eight jillion things happening in their lives.  Their social media and political travails make them the kind of people that habitually check their iPhones constantly, and I always feel a step behind them because more than likely no one DM’d me in the last 4o seconds.

Nonetheless, they were enraptured by my tale of mind games, holding-in-pee endurance abilities and pre-contest training.  They acted like it was the most interesting thing they’d ever heard.  And I don’t mean that they were faking it, they just seemed genuinely amazed and flabbergasted.  They had me talking so much, I barely had time to stuff pizza in my mouth.

I told them that being able to pee whenever I wanted to was a magical experience for weeks afterward.  It really made me incredibly happy, and I was sad to lose that thrice-a-day sense of wonder and joy.  The secret to happiness is being satisfied with what you got, and I gotta pee all the time.  Eventually, the ecstatic release morphed into a dull contentment.  Even though I tried, I couldn’t keep the feeling as urinating whenever I wanted became routine.  I had discovered the secret to happiness and been truly happy with all aspects of my life due to a simple freedom shared by all, and I let it slip away.

Will suggested I write a story for the Chronicle or something expounding on my theory of happiness, but why would I send you out to their filthy pages when I can enrapture readers directly through this here blog?  So dear, dear readers, my message to you this morning is simple: the next time you have to pee and then successfully do so within five minutes of your urge, count your blessings.

Cost: $23.50
Total this year: $287.50

While Katie smiles sweetly, the pizza monster attacks

My friends and former Austin residents Latham and Katie came to town for a friend’s CD release party, and after nursing a horrendous hangover, came by to hangout.  After a few hours of chatting, we realized that we were hungry and hit up Homeslice just before closing time.

They’re both huge fans of beer.  Latham started homebrewing way before I began my beer-making adventures.  While they’re usually excited to try whatever I’ve concocted (most recently a blueberry chocolate stout), they were more interested in some tea after getting drunk until 4am.

As we dissected the events leading up to their most recent hangover, we talked about my first hangover, which I delightfully shared with Latham while we spent a semester in Singapore.  Lesson learned: all-you-can-drink wine followed by “ladies night” only leads to trouble.  Latham and I do a terrible job of keeping up with each other, but whenever we see each other we really enjoy it.  He’s very insightful, and sometimes I forget how cool, smart, interesting people often end up in stereotypically uninteresting places like Galveston.

One of my greatest trips was a weekend jaunt to Memphis to visit Latham when he lived there.  I hadn’t heard many people rave about Memphis, but I had just signed on to my first real job (the kind that pays you by the year rather than the hour) and wanted to do something crazy.  So I dressed up as Elvis and hitchhiked to Memphis from Dallas dressed as Elvis.  I made the cover of the Texarkana Gazette and had an amazing weekend in Memphis.  We ate at an incredible Chinese food and sub sandwiches place that featured a Ye Olde England decor, drank good beer and saw weird things.  It was awesome.

One of my perverse joys in life is hearing people tell their struggles with bureaucracy.  When we lived in Singapore, Latham would have me in stitches telling me about his latest run-ins with the university, dorm and medical administrations.  Sadly (or happily depending on if you’re a nicer person than I am) he didn’t have any recent tales of woe.

We went to Homeslice when our bellies told us to, and were told that the wait would be 25-30 minutes.  Since Homeslice is a five minute walk away, we debated whether to wait there or go back for a drink before returning.  Acting on a tip from the hostesses, we hung out and were seated in 15-20 minutes.

There were some really dressy people there that night, and as I walked to the back I mentioned to Kelly (a waitress) that a table over there might be here for prom, seeing as they were decked out in formal wear.  She gave me an “Are you kidding me?” look and said “Seth, it’s Valentine’s Day”.  Ooooohhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeahhhhhhhh.  I remembered!

Erin and I aren’t too big on Valentine’s Day because her birthday is very close to it and we always do special stuff for that instead.  I had totally forgotten, but as I looked around, there were lots of obvious dates.

Katie liked Homeslice back when they lived in Austin, but she and Latham went nuts over the pizza.  They loved it, and truth be told it was a very good one.  I haven’t been going so much lately as Erin and I are working and trying to cook a little more.  This makes Homeslice taste surprisingly novel to me, and ever-so-delicious.

Cost: $27.50
Total this year: $264

Erin, Mike and Judy

This past weekend Aunt Judy and Uncle Mike came by for some pizza.  I hadn’t seen much of them since I moved back from Houston after working on the Michael Skelly congressional campaign in November 2008.  They had a friend in Georgetown and a meeting in Austin, so they made a weekend of it.

Since Erin and I had to work on Friday and Saturday, they stayed with their friends in Georgetown and met up with us afterward.  So we walked into Homeslice, hung out on the patio while we waited for a table and they immediately saw the kids of the folks they were visiting in Georgetown.  Small world.

Erin hadn’t seen Judy and Mike for years and years, so it was fun to see them get reacquainted.

Mike is from Chicago, and knows a thing or two about pizza.  He was a happy adherent to my “more is more” philosophy of pizza toppings, although he did slough off all his broccoli onto Judy’s plate.  Both he and Judy loved them some ‘Slice, and a merry time was had by all.

Cost: $30.50
Total this year: $236.50

Gene and Erin

About a week and a half ago, my stepdad Gene came into town for a day.  He’s trying to start up a therapeutic garden at the VA in Dallas for vets with physical or mental disabilities and had some meetings at A&M.  After the meetings he planned to swing through Austin and spend the night before heading back to Dallas.  Sadly, his car did not approve of his plan.  It overheated in Caldwell, and he had to have it towed all the way to Austin.  I picked him up at the dealership and we met up with Erin to grab some pizza.

Gene used to live in Austin back in the day, so it’s fun going around town with him and talking about how the town has changed in the last 30 years.  Answer: lots.  It was weird driving him around, for much of my life it’s been him taking me various places, not vice versa.

It was a little chilly out and I didn’t really dress appropriately because I figured we’d only be outside for the five minute walk to Homeslice before eating inside, but we waited for a while out back and then were seated outside.  D’oh!  They turned on one of those heater lamp thingies when we were nearly done with our meal, but it didn’t do much good.

While we were waiting, we were near a very large group of people that talked very oddly.  We couldn’t tell if they were speaking a different language or were speaking English through heavy quasi-deaf accents.  Perhaps it was a combination.  Erin and I have spent enough time abroad in enough different places that we can usually guess the general geographic origin of languages we overhear (South Asian, Scandinavian, etc), but we were lost with this one.  And we live right across the street from the deaf school, so that’s given us some insight into the variety of deaf accents.  Whatever the spoke, they seemed to all understand each other and have a nice time.

The great thing about dining with parents is that meals become more multi-coursed and fun with them picking up the bill.  Salad?  Sure!  Beer?  Why not a pitcher!  We happily obliged.

Although it wasn’t Gene’s first time at Homeslice, it was still nice to show him a piece of my life here.  When guests I care about come to Austin, I feel oddly paternalistic about Homeslice, like I want my loved ones to be impressed by the place.  Logically I don’t have anything to worry about, as the hour-plus lines attest.  As usual, Homeslice put on a good show, and we had a really nice meal.  The next day the car eventually got fixed and Gene was on his way.  It was nice albeit short visit.

Cost: $25.25
Total this year: $206

Jodi and Adam collecting their fee

I recently screwed up the HTML of this humble little blog, resulting in posts being duplicated and the sidebar showing up beneath all posts.  After I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong, I posted on twitter that I needed help and would barter pizza for advice.  Jodi Bart, a previous pizza guest helpfully suggested her boyfriend Adam, and he dutifully figured out what was wrong in mere minutes.

Last Monday night was the time to pay the piper, so I met Adam and Jodi at Homeslice at 7:30 to even the score.  Adam seemed into the anchovies, but Jodi had learned her lesson and but the kaibosh on the idea.  She’s a “less is more” person.  Such thinking is foreign to me.  I’m a “more is more” kinda guy.  If one is good, eight is great.  But I let them pick the toppings, and they settled on kalamata olives, fresh basil, fried eggplant and garlic.  It was very good, and the basil was less intense than usual.

Adam is a Jew from Houston, so I told him my stories about visiting relatives in Houston for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  He laughed when I regaled him about visits to Belden’s, Seven Acres and other landmarks of the Houston Jewish community.  As we discussed the merits of Dallas and Houston, I grudgingly admitted that I think more of Houston than I once did.  Adam didn’t have a very good impression of Dallas, but that’s common amongst Houstonians.  Jodi seemed baffled at the merits of both, and despite dating Adam, still seems a little surprised that Texas grows Jews.

We had a really nice time.  All of us talked about our entrepreneurial aspirations and enjoyed a nice pizza despite its paucity of toppings.  Best of all, the blog is still up and running enough for you to read it right now.  Thanks Adam!

If you need a web developer or at least a troubleshooter, he’s great.  His price (pizza) seems pretty reasonable as well.

Cost: $23.50
Total this year: $180.50

Give To Haiti, Get Pizza

Pizza For Haiti Challenge.  Whoever gives the most in a week to Partners in Health through this page gets a free pizza with me.

The earthquake in Haiti has been devastating.  Tens of thousands are dead.  Hundreds of thousands are homeless, and as the public sector has been destroyed, things don’t look good.  This in a country that has been screwed by fate and foreign powers for centuries.

Are you ok with this?  I’m not.

So here’s the deal: I’m having a Pizza For Haiti Challenge.  The person who donates the most to Partners in Health through my personal fund raising site starting now and ending next Monday at noon will win a free pizza at Homeslice with me.  You pick the toppings, the “beer on you” part of my “pizza on me, beer on you” mantra is waived, and I blog about how awesome you are and link prodigiously to your blog or company’s website.

Partners in Health is the organization co-founded by Paul Farmer, one of the most incredible people on Earth.  If you haven’t already, please read Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder to learn the story of Farmer and PiH.

If you’ve been thinking of giving anyway, now’s your chance.  Give today or any time before noon next Monday.

Erin and Deliciousness

Although I went to Homeslice three times last week, Wednesday was Erin’s first pizza since we got back in town.  Erin is enrolled in a graduate program in Ayurveda, an Indian system of traditional medicine, and one of her more fun homework assignments was to see how different foods affect her digestion system.  Wednesday was one of her dairy nights, where she had to eat a whole lot of “mucus forming” foods like dairy stuff to see what would happen.

So we ordered fresh mozzarella on the pizza to increase the cheesiness factor, along with fresh tomatoes, fried eggplant, spinach and garlic (and anchovies on my half).  We asked Sara if the consistency would hold up with so many watery toppings, and she said that she’d have the cooks keep it in the oven longer.

It came out hot and delicious.  The crust was a little too crispy for my taste, but I hadn’t had pizza since Sunday, and my four day pizza drought was pretty rough.

We usually don’t get dessert, but we weren’t ready to brave the rain right after our pizza and Erin wanted to eat more dairy products, so we ordered cannoli.  I had maintained to Erin that cannoli doesn’t contain ricotta because ricotta tastes bad and cannoli tastes good.  The logic seemed bulletproof, but Erin thought I was full of crap and Sara confirmed.

So the cannoli came, and it was really good.  Maybe ricotta doesn’t suck so completely.  I liked the chopped pistachios all over everything, and the creamy filling was delicious despite its ricotta-ness.

Cost: $28.50
Total this year: $157.00

Krista and Billy

Billy hooked me up with a free week pass at his health club so we could play racquetball more often.  Last Sunday we stayed a little too long, potentially screwing up lunch plans he had with his gf Krista.

I offered to take them out to pizza since I was hungry anyway and knew that dropping me off and then going back would further put him behind.  All parties agreed and we picked up Krista en route to Homeslice.

Billy just bought a house in far South Austin.  Like many folks in Austin, he’d like to live in 78704 but can’t afford a place twice as expensive as one a few miles away.  When he talks about it, he sounds incredulous that people pay double for the same house a few miles away, albeit in a cuter neighborhood with cool stuff close by.  Like the bumper sticker says: “78745, where people go when they can’t afford 78704”.

We get to Homeslice and there’s a huge wait, so we decide to play some ping pong.  The ball that was on the table was deflated, so I went inside and got a new one along with a pitcher of beer.  It had been cold all week, but it was a beautiful, sunny day, and the wait flew by as we drank some Fireman’s #4 and ping-ponged away.  Billy raved about how this was life.  Beer, ping pong, sunny day, cool Homeslice vibe, hanging out, etc.  He saw the value of living in walking distance of Homeslice and its ilk.

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We got to the table and ordered a hefty pizza: basil, fried eggplant, garlic, fresh tomatoes, kalamata olives and sausage (on their half).  It was delish.  Billy’s from NYC, and I always take pleasure in hearing compliments about Homeslice out of New Yorkers.  He’s a big fan.

Over pizza we discussed travel.  Billy and I were lucky enough and had enough foresight to travel extensively when our lives, schedules, wallets and responsibilities (or lack thereof) made it possible to leave the country for months at a time.  Krista wants to travel but is trying to figure out the balance with her responsibilities, job, pets, etc.  It’s much harder to pull off once you’re settled down.

Maybe the best thing to do is to work for an employer like Interplast (or Homeslice!) that has interesting travel as a part of the gig.  But again, once you’ve picked a career that doesn’t have travel baked in, it’s hard to rejigger that to include cool travel.

Hard decisions.  The decision to order a 2nd pitcher of beer seemed much easier and by comparison 🙂

Cost: $29.50
Total this year: $128.50

The ricotta is spreading...

I needed some math help recently, so to defray the tutoring costs I took my tutor Paul to Homeslice.  As usual, I let him pick the toppings, and he chose ricotta. I’m used to ordering some different toppings on my half of the pizza, and I’ve never liked ricotta, but this time I thought I’d try it out and not nix it on my side.  Big mistake.

I’ve never liked ricotta since I figured out as a kid that there was some chalk-colored slime taking up valuable real estate in my lasagna.  As I’ve matured gotten older, my tastes have changed and I now enjoy many things that I hated as a kid, like spinach, beets, potatoes, eggplant and most beans.  I hadn’t given ricotta a chance in recent years and figured this would be as good a time as any to try it again.

Wrong, it still sucks.  It doesn’t have much taste, but it’s gooey texture feels like cream-flavored gravy.  It was one of three toppings on our pizza (ricotta, garlic and sausage for Paul and ricotta, garlic and spinach for me), and the white, colonizing blobs just tasted like meh.

Paul thought that the ricotta was simply a wash: neither adding nor subtracting to the pizza.  Good for him, I hope he enjoys the leftovers.

Vanessa, our last waitperson (we started with Shane but ended with Vanessa due to a shift change) suggested that ricotta balances out more intense flavors, like anchovies and basil.  Maybe it does for her and others, but I’m not a fan.

Cost: $19.50
Total this year: $99.00

While there’s still 20 minutes left, I want to wish The King a very happy birthday.  I once hitchhiked from Dallas to Memphis dressed as Elvis, and have long had an affinity for His Majesty.

Tonight, Erin and I went to Chuy’s to hear the Elvis impersonator and to try the Elvis menu.  I wore the Elvis sunglasses with chops attached that are my normal sunglasses.  I’ve had and lost many a pair, so the last time my mom was in the Vegas airport she picked me up a few pair, one of which I loaned to Erin for the evening.  Well it turns out that people dressed as Elvis eat free on His birthday and our glasses get-up counted, so we got free queso, enchiladas and tres leches cake.  Sometimes even when I don’t go to Homeslice I end up with free food.  That’s what The King’s love can do for you.  Happy Birthday Elvis!

PS – If you ever want to go to the best place on Earth, I mean it, go to Graceland Too.  Don’t just follow the link.  Google it.  Better yet, don’t.  Just go.  It’s in Holly Springs, Mississippi, about 45 minutes south of Memphis.  It’s best if you just go and experience it without knowing too much.  Greatest place in the history of the world.