The Subs Of Victory, Preserved For Posterity
Ever since my first HOES victory, I had been trying to figure out a way to preserve the eggplant sub for posterity. I looked into taxidermy (no way to preserve the outer layer), bronzing (too expensive/heavy) and acrylic casing (can’t stop the rotting process) without finding a workable solution. While looking for help I contacted various artists, seeing if they would be interested in helping out. I talked with the head of UT’s sculpture department, the Blue Genie Art folks, and others. Everyone said the same thing: preserving it for less than thousands of dollars and lots of hassle is impossible, take a pretty picture instead. I even went to the font of all knowledge on the Internet, Craigslist. Some of the Homeys even found my post asking for sub preservation help.
I figured I’d eventually find an economical means of preservation, so I put the sub (and later, the two other subs I/Erin won the next year) in my freezer to give myself time to figure out a solution. Erin was never real thrilled with this situation. They didn’t take up ALL of the freezer, but they certainly took up a good portion of it. She also thought the subs were a little gross. I tried to explain to her that the subs were not gross by saying “the subs are not gross”. Inexplicably, she remained unmoved in her disapproval.
Before we moved out, I finally accepted everyone’s advice. With the guidance of some Twitter followers, I asked local photographer Aimee Wenske if she’d be interested in photographing 9 and 21 month old subs with Erin and I. I told her I could only pay her in pizza and appreciation, yet she readily agreed, even taking a half day off of work.
Erin was really pissed at me that day for something, but she didn’t look like it in the photos. I thought it’d be funny to have Erin and I holding parasols, and the subs sporting little cocktail umbrellas. The little umbrellas made the subs look festive and spunky.
We walked to Home Slice to take some shots at the scene of my/our victory.
On our way to Home Slice, we passed the Jo’s Coffee love graffiti, so we took a couple shots there too.
At Home Slice, I found the dumpster and readied myself for the subs’ destiny, a noble burial at sea crow food. A sad moment before I slid the subs into their fate, but made cooler by the fact that the man who made them happened to be walking between More Home Slice and the mothership. So the subs, at their death, literally got to meet their maker.
After the shoot I took Aimee for pizza, and we briefly met up with her mutual friend Will, who educated me about the wind business. I forget what we got, so I’ll just guess that it cost around $27, that seems to be about average.
I think the photos turned out great (Thanks again Aimee!!!!!!). They don’t have the same gravitas as a 150 pound, three foot long bronze sub hanging in the living room to remind my grandchildren of grandpa’s glory (or on the headboard to remind Erin), but they will live on forever through the magic of the Internet. Behold:
Total this year: $1,228.50